Why Rob’s Back Pain Nearly Broke Him as a Dad (And How He Got His Life Back)

The Parent Performance Back Pain Series — Chapter 2: Rob.

When Back Pain Threatens More Than Your Body.

When Rob first walked into the clinic, he wasn’t the usual “I hurt my back at work” case.

Yeah, he was a tradie.Yeah, he’d done a number on his lower back — again.But the part that rattled him the most wasn’t the pain.

It was the fear that he was becoming a dad who couldn’t keep up anymore.

And that hits different.

Rob’s Story:

Rob is 30.

Two kids — 8 and 10.

Gym-goer. Loves staying active. Classic “hands-on dad.”

But when this latest back injury hit — a repeat of a severe episode he’d had years earlier — everything changed.

He wasn’t scared of missing work (although that was in the back of his mind).

He was scared of something bigger:

“Mate, I’m terrified I won’t be able to be the dad I want to be.”

That’s the line that stuck with me.

Because any parent who’s dealt with lower back pain knows that it's not just your life that shrinks.

It also shrinks the world you have with your kids.

Picking them up hurts.

Playing on the floor hurts.

Running around feels impossible.

And every one of those moments chips away at you.

The Early Days: A Slow, Stressful Climb

Like with any fresh flare-up, we had to start simple:

Calm things down

Reduce the sensitivity

Get some basic movement back

Build his confidence step by step

But — and this is important — Rob didn’t bounce back quickly.

He wasn’t one of those “two weeks and I’m sweet again” stories.

The first month?

Pretty slow.

It took a good couple of months before he said things like:

“I think I'm finally turning a corner.”

This is something parents need drilled into their skulls:

Parent-life slows recovery.

Not because you’re fragile — but because you're stretched thin.

Sleep is crap.

Stress is high.

Your body is your toddler’s Uber service.

And you’ve got zero time to actually look after yourself.

That's not weakness.

That’s reality.

The Real Problem

As awful as the physical pain was, that wasn’t what crushed Rob.

It was the fear.

The fear of not being the dad who gets down on the ground and plays.

The fear of sitting out from weekend sports.

The fear of snapping his back again and being sidelined for weeks… maybe months.

He told me:

“I feel useless, mate. I feel like I’m letting them down.”

That feeling is way more debilitating than any disc, muscle, or joint.

Pain is pain.

But losing your identity as a parent?

That hits straight in the chest.

The Turning Point: Education + Strength

Rob’s biggest shift didn’t happen in the gym.

It happened when he finally understood:

Pain does not equal damage. Pain equals protection.

Once he realised his back wasn’t “broken,” he started trusting it again.

We slowly reintroduced training.

Light gym work at first.

More load as the confidence built.

Regular sessions instead of “all-or-nothing” bursts.

Week by week, the pieces came back together.

Five Months Later… A Completely Different Bloke

Today, Rob says his back feels the best it ever has.

He’s training consistently.

He’s lifting without fear.

He’s roughhousing with his kids on the floor.

He’s not scared of bending, lifting, twisting — all the things parents need to be bulletproof at.

Most importantly:

He no longer sees himself as fragile.

He sees himself as capable again.

And that’s the real end goal for any parent with back pain.

Not just being “pain-free”…

But being you again.

What Parents Can Learn From Rob’s Recovery

1. Back pain isn’t a life sentence — even if you’ve had repeat episodes.

You can rebuild. Stronger than before.

2. Strength beats avoidance.

Rest alone won’t fix back pain — movement will.

3. Being a parent changes recovery timelines.

And that’s okay. Slow progress still counts.

4. Education is half the battle.

Understanding pain takes the fear out of it.

5. Your kids don’t want a perfect parent — they want a healthy one.

And you can get there.

How to Start Your Own Comeback

If Rob’s story feels like yours, you’re not stuck — you just haven’t had the right plan yet.

This is literally what I do every day at Feel Good Physio Co and through Project Father Fit:

Help parents calm their pain

Rebuild strength

Remove fear

Get back to training

Get back to parenting

Get back to feeling like themselves again

If you’re ready to start your comeback:

➡️ Book an assessment at Feel Good Physio Co.

BOOK HERE

➡️ Join the waitlist for my Parent Strength Program - (email me at jbrown@feelgoodphysioco.com.au and I'll give you all the details!)

➡️ Or check out this post about my personal experience with lower back pain.

Thanks,

James Brown — Physiotherapist, Dad, & Founder of Feel Good Physio Co.