Why Your Back Keeps Flaring Up Now That You’re a Dad ((And Why “Just Strengthening Your Core” Isn’t Fixing It)
- James Brown
- 6 days ago
- 3 min read
The Parent Performance Back Pain Series — Chapter 3: Dad-Back.
The Lie We’re All Told About Back Pain
“Your core is weak.”
“Your posture is bad.”
“You just need to strengthen your back.”
If that were true, every dad who deadlifts, planks, and stretches religiously would be pain-free.
They’re not.
And neither was I.
My Back Didn’t Fail in the Gym
It Failed in Real Life
My back didn’t flare up during a max deadlift.
It flared up:
Carrying my daughter at 2am
Leaning over a cot on broken sleep
Sitting twisted in the car seat trying not to wake her
Training hard on top of exhaustion and stress
That’s when it hit me:
"Fatherhood doesn’t just change your schedule.It changes the load your body is under — constantly."
And most rehab and fitness advice completely ignores that.
The Real Problem: You’re Asking an Old Body to Do a New Job
Before kids, your body had:
Time to recover
Predictable training
Fewer emotional and physical stressors
After kids?
Broken sleep
Chronic low-level fatigue
Stress you carry in your nervous system
Repetitive, awkward, unplanned lifting
You didn’t suddenly become fragile.
You became under-prepared for the new demands.
And that distinction matters.The Real Problem: You’re Asking an Old Body to Do a New Job
Before kids, your body had:
Time to recover
Predictable training
Fewer emotional and physical stressors
After kids?
Broken sleep
Chronic low-level fatigue
Stress you carry in your nervous system
Repetitive, awkward, unplanned lifting
Why “Core Strength” Alone Isn’t Enough
Here’s the uncomfortable truth:
You can have a strong coreand still have a back you don’t trust.
Because back pain in dads is rarely about:
A single weak muscle
A single “bad” movement
A lack of effort
It’s about capacity.
Capacity to:
Tolerate fatigue
Absorb load in awkward positions
Recover between days
Handle stress and training
Most programs build strength in isolation.
Fatherhood demands robustness under chaos.
You didn’t suddenly become fragile.
You became under-prepared for the new demands.
And that distinction matters.
The Missing Piece No One Explains
Your back doesn’t need to be protected.
It needs to be exposed — progressively, intelligently, and consistently to the things that currently scare it.
That includes:
Loaded carries
Rotational control
Endurance under fatigue
Real-world positions (not just perfect gym reps)
Avoidance feels safe.
But avoidance is exactly how confidence erodes.
Why You Keep Getting “Almost Better”
If you’ve ever thought:
“It’s better… but not solid”
“I’m scared to push it”
“One wrong move and it’ll go again”
That’s not failure.
That’s incomplete rehab.
Most dads stop rehab when pain reduces.
But pain reduction ≠ resilience.
And resilience is what fatherhood requires.
What Actually Works (And What I Do Now)
The goal isn’t to baby your back.
It’s to rebuild:
Trust
Tolerance
Confidence under load
That means:
Training with fatigue, not pretending it doesn’t exist
Strength work that reflects how dads actually move
Progressions that respect life stress, not ignore it
This is the exact approach I now use — with myself and with the dads I work with.
Not because it’s trendy.
Because it works.
If This Hit a Nerve — Good
That means you’re not broken.
You’re just trying to solve a fatherhood problem with a gym-bro solution.
And those don’t match.
It’s asking you to train for the life you’re actually living now.
So.........
If you’re ready to start your comeback and need a little help:
➡️ Book an assessment at Feel Good Physio Co.
Or.....
➡️ Join the waitlist for my Parent Strength Program - (email me at jbrown@feelgoodphysioco.com.au and I'll give you all the details!)
➡️ Or check out this post about my personal experience with lower back pain.
Thanks,
James Brown — Physiotherapist, Dad, & Founder of Feel Good Physio Co.
Comments